New Year New Beginnings

We spent New Years Eve very quietly just the three of us. It truly felt like the calm before the storm.

I'm not sorry to see 2008 go but I admit, it's taught me some important lessons. It had been such a tumultuous year. We welcomed Amaya into the world after a chaotic labor. I learned that physically and emotionally I'm stronger than I ever thought I could be. Sadly we also lost some important people (RIP Connie and Michael). This taught me that life is so sacred and you have to not sweat the small stuff because you never know what's around the corner. I learned that being a mom and going to school is tougher than I was prepared for. But that nothing will stand in the way of me fulfilling my dreams. I learned that family and money do not mix. I learned that not everyone may agree with my parenting of Amaya but that their feelings don't matter at all. I learned that I can rely on people I had doubts about before.

In 2009 I have a few goals I'd like to meet. But before I get there I had to do some housecleaning, meaning I had to seriously think about the people that I wanted in my life. It's important that I teach Amaya to have self respect and confidence. To not let anyone make her feel inferior and not to be caught up in life's petty dramas. To speak up when she feels walked on and to walk away from toxic people who only think about themselves.

These are lessons that I'm learning for myself. I hope I can pass on to her that there is nothing wrong with a warrior woman who stands up for herself and for her to strive for that. That even though I'm her mom, I am her biggest supporter and I will always try to stop, breathe, listen and support her as best I can. I owe her to be the best mom I can be. She deserves it.

And with that, on we go.