Thoughts on working...

So much has happened in the last four weeks, that I've been neglecting this blog. But I'm back with an update and some thoughts on being a working mom. I earned my graduate degree always with the thought that I would go back to work sometime in the fall. I figured I'd never find a job with the way the economy is and prepared myself for a long hot summer with the baby. Instead the job gods smiled down on me and through a good friend I was put in touch with a consulting company who was looking for a part time planner. A whirlwind interview process later, I am employed and commuting twice a week from San Jose to the Peninsula.

I keep myself busy as to not worry and miss Amaya too much. I know she is in capable and loving hands with her Auntie Crystal but it was very rough the first day. I called to hear her in the background and immediately tried not to cry. It was hard to let go and not have total control over her life anymore, but I know that she needs to socialize with other kids and that getting out of the house is good for her.

One great thing is that I didn't realize how much I would feed my own soul going back to work. I've worked since I was 15, I always had a job and was always self sufficient. Not working for nearly two years to finish school was tough, although I transitioned to a stay at home mom smoother than I thought I would. I've missed my old self since having a baby. I realize motherhood changes EVERYTHING but not always in a bad way, in fact I think I'm much more mellow and easy going now. I also think my career goals have changed too. I still want to start my own consulting firm but I think that maybe all that can wait for a few years. In the meantime I've been trying to balance as best as I can.

Work has been therapuetic. I realized that I truly missed that hot Starbucks in the morning, pulling my chair up to my seat to check email, the quiet of the office at 7am. The Tiffany that answers the phone is polite but in a no nonsense way when pushed. She eats almost always at her desk to finish up to leave the office promptly at 4.

The difference is now that I'm a mom. I have a little person who runs toward me with arms outstretched when I step through the door. And picking her up and giving her a huge hug is the perfect way to start my second job at home.